Let's Get Personal

I was young, excited and ready to get marry my fiancé in six months times. The kicker was I hadn't had a period in about 8 months, and gained about 60+ pounds in less than year without any life style changes besides planning a wedding. I chalked it up to stress but figured I should tell my gynecologist at my next appointment.
Flash forward to my gyne appointment, I talk to her about my concerns, and she orders a fasting blood test as well as an internal ultrasound. My results came back in a week or so, and I'm asked to come back in to go over my test results.
I start imagining the worst, I'm thinking cancer, endometriosis, etc. but I try to remain positive and wait for my appointment. At my appointment I am told my blood test showed an imbalance of fertility hormones, and my internal ultrasound confirmed the doctors suspicions of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS for short. My Ovaries were enlarged and had follicles around my eggs which means, it will be extremely hard to have babies naturally, and also to lose weight. Not news a bride to be wants to hear. I was devastated, but the doctor had a plan.
She told me, we were going to start hormonal birth control, and if I lost a few pounds even as little as five it would make a huge difference. I got my prescription, and was set on losing weight, as if it were
just a simple fix.
Well as I'm sure you can imagine, losing weight is not easy. It's actually incredible hard, especially when your own body is literally working against you. My family wasn't supportive, my dad kept telling me to lose weight little did he know, I was practically killing myself but no one knew that but Dan. I eat pretty healthy, exercised regularly so I ate BETTER, worked out HARDER, and in a 2 month time I GAINED 15 more pounds. Defeated was an understatement. I was at a loss, no matter what I did I couldn't loose weight, and I was slowly but surely filling out in ways I did not want to.
My options were to continue doing what I was doing or accept it. So I accepted it and it was HARD. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. A lot research I found said me gaining weight caused my hormone imbalance - which isn't true. I've recently learned PCOS is still a grey area in the medical community. Doctors aren't sure whether the weight gain is a cause or effect, ya know like which comes first the chicken or the egg situation. In my opinion it's definitely a symptom, I know my eating habits and my lifestyle. 
It's taken me almost 4 years to admit it, I JUST told my closest friends last year. but I  Do I love the fact that I've gained more weight than I ever imagined in my life? No. Do I love the fact, that I found someone who loves me no matter what I look like? Yes.
Recently I found a support system if you will. Once I was willing to accept my diagnosis and I started telling friends I felt like a huge weight was lifted from me. I started following Tallene on Instagram, a fellow "cyster, who went to school to become a nutritionist specifically for women suffering from PCOS. Her page has given me so much information, and tips. While I'm not ready to make a leap into going gluten, and dairy free it has helped me make better choices and reduce my gluten and dairy intake.

To sum this whole page up, listen to your doctors but do your own research, and if you live a fairly healthy lifestyle and still get the less than ideal diagnosis it's okay. Most likely you're not alone, and if you need an empathetic ear, I'm only a message away.